Anailuj has also decided to switch to first person because third person is making her feel a little schizophrenic. I gazed wonderingly at strangers all day.
Sports Fan: Sorry, but I can tell from the way that you've incorporated the logos of three different teams into your outfit today that all you do is watch ESPN. I need some ATTN, too.
Various Mellow-Looking Guys: You know this guy. He's a nice, decent guy. This is the guy you want to marry, but not really date. This is in no way his fault. It is yours because you're masochistic and immature, and like to date the wrong boys. You unfairly want him to just sort of remain available until you're finished running around with Tight Pants Guy.
Tight Pants Guy: TPG, I respect the boldness it must take for a guy to get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and think "Today I want to cram my junk into a tiny denim straitjacket." TPG is actually a genius. He knows that his skinny jeans will serve him dual purposes: 1) To attract ladies who love a man wearing jeans slim enough that they could borrow them, and 2) to kill all his sperm so that he does not impregnate any of those ladies.
Matt: Matt lives down the street from me. Matt has promised to go to the moon, write my name on it large enough for me to see it from Earth, and find me a massive moon diamond. If I actually believed that could happen, I would be carrying Matt's babies right now.
Yellenahs' Housemates: It's important that I talk about them because they're an increasingly important part of my life...
B-Dolla: Great taste in music, which is a Big Deal to me. However, I often find him difficult to locate, which could be problematic.
Aaron: Even though he's a harmless day-walker, he carries the ginger gene. Not willing to take that risk.
John: We would have lots of sarcastic babies with poor eyesight and braces, but they would make up for it by being incredible swimmers. If lucky, they would combine my English skillz and his Math skillz and get perfect SAT scores.
Soul Mate?: I was looking super cute in my red heart-shaped sunglasses. He was wearing large, square, bright orange sunglasses. For a moment we were alone in the airlock of the building as I was exiting and he was entering, and time stood still as our eyes locked and I knew that Orange Sunglasses might be my soul mate. But then time abruptly resumed its pace, and I, unable to react in time, lost Orange Sunglasses forever.
Conclusions: I believe that if Orange Sunglasses really is my soul mate, I'll find him again. I kind of dropped the ball on the "act in consequence" part of this task, but it's ok because I believe we'll be reunited if it's for realzies. Also, I'm a little superficial.
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