Day Twenty: Poetry Day (Anailuj)

My facebook account is down, so I guess I have to spend my time doing something stimulating and creative instead of harvesting my squash on FarmVille. The book provides the first line of a poem in iambic pentameter* and wants me to write one line to go with it, then send that line to the book's website so they can be put together to create the world's longest poem. But I'm an English major, and an ambitious one, and I have decided to compose an entire poem for you.**

Better get into brooding artsy poet mode.

World-weary countenance- check.

Tortured soul- check.

Mug of tea- check

Book by world-weary, tortured, tea-drinking author (Kerouac's Visions of Gerard)- check.

Music by world-weary, totured, tea-drinking musician (City and Colour, Confessions)- check.

Note: I don't know for sure that Dallas Green of City and Colour/Alexisonfire drinks tea, but I feel like he probably enjoys a nice toasty mug of it now and again. I'm of the opinion that tea is the fuel that powers the left side of our brains. That's the artsy half.

See how brooding and artistic he is? I'm pretty sure there's a mug of tea in this picture but you can't see it because it got cut out. But for now I shall stop wishing that Dallas, his perfect voice, and his indie geekdom were mine to have and to hold, and write a poem for you. The book gave me the first line. It's what i would call "a doozy." Here goes.

"Mercy," cried the Popinjay to the Pope,

"For I have not yet given up all hope

That your style, though absurd it may look,

Can be remedied if I use this book."

Out from his suit the Popinjay produced

A sturdy wooden box all made of spruce.

And from this box the Popinjay pulled out

A book that in the fashion world held clout.

"What Not to Wear" the cover said in gold.

The Pope agreed, though not completely sold.

For the idea that the Pope requir'd

This foppish man to pick out his attire

Would shock God-fearing Catholics out of mind

For they questioned men of flamboyant kind.

But his hat! His robes! They just would not do!

They laughed at him on ET, in US too!

And so the Popinjay used his fab plan

To refresh the wardrobe of God's main man.

But in the end that task was all in vain:

His new look rivaled Prince in Purple Rain.

FIN.

*In case you spaced out, slept in, or skipped English 101, iambic pentamer is a poetic meter (that means rhythm) consisiting of ten syllables, the first stressed, the second unstressed, the third stressed, etc. It sounds like this: "da-DAH, da-DAH, da-DAH, da-DAH, da-DAH."

**But it will never be as wonderful as the impromptu poem I wrote and texted to John early one morning.

Day Nine: Do Something Before Breakfast (Yellenahs)

I do a lot of things before breakfast. I have a pretty strict routine that doesn't really allow for anything extra, unless I get up earlier. Which I couldn't do because I had to stay up past midnight so I could play Farmville (luckily none of my crops wilted).

This morning I showered, put in my eyeballs, put on my face, and made coffee all before breakfast. I tried to call John and express surprise that he was not yet awake, but he prepared for this by turning off his phone. I briefly considered waking him up physically, but I decided that I actually wanted to live to eat my breakfast.

So I sat down on my bed with my bowl of Wegman's brand honey nut oat things and turned on the TV to discover what is on at this hour (8:30 am). The answer is JACK SHIT. The TV was already on the History Channel, as I was watching a show entitled "The History of Sex" last night while I waited for midnight to roll around. This morning's programming wasn't nearly as interesting, so I flipped it to "My Super Sweet 16."

WHICH IS A TERRIBLE SHOW.

The girl on it wasn't even turning 16 - she was turning 21. And she was an ungrateful, rude snob who got a Lambo for her birthday that she probably can't drive and definitely doesn't appreciate. Then she had two birthday parties. TWO. One in Vegas and one in Miami. And she wore the same dress to both of them. HOW CLASSY IS THAT?!

She was who I hated in high school, but with even more money.

Day Eight: Addiction-Free Day (Anailuj)

I was not a happy camper today.
As far as addicitons go, I have few. I don't usually use the term "straight-edge" because of negative stereotypes about the straight-edge community (the large majority of which are swell folks who won't try to push any straight-edge agendas on you, I promise) that I don't necessarily want projected on myself. However, I've never touched alcohol or drugs and I don't plan to. I don't smoke. I don't even drink coffee.

But sweet Jesus, do I love my tea.

I have a habit of falling dead asleep during my classes, and one of the only things that can keep me awake is a masive container of iced chai, which I make myself in the morning with two tea bags for extra strength, approximately 1lb of sugar, milk, and whipped cream if I'm feeling spunky.

Today I was not allowed to have my chai. Today was a bad day. I could use a cup right now. Did you know that a professor can write nothing but positive comments on your first paper ofthe semester, comments about how awesome you are at analyzing that God-awful Herman Melville book and how your interpretations are right on, and still give you a C+? DID YOU???? A C+????
I WANT AN A AND I WILL KILL OR DIE FOR IT.

On top of that, I gave up Facebook and FarmVille too, like Yellenahs. It wasn't that bad except I'm pretty sure I have aloe vera planted, and if I do, it definitely wilted.

And if it did, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Conclusions: Tea is good for me and I'm going to have a cup (decaf) right now.
And it is sort of nice to take a break from massive internet networking and constantly worrying about my vegatables.

PS I have it on good authority that as of 5am this morning, my out of order sign was still on the bathroom door.

Day Eight: Addiction Free Day (Yellenahs)

Today, my body is my temple. I cut addictions and let myself become pure.

Except for that I drank a cup of coffee before I realized it was addiction free day. But I have health reasons! If I don't drink a cup of coffee, I usually get a terrible headache. And I don't want that. I didn't have any more coffee after that cup. There was a fairly good chance that I would have had another cup if it weren't addiction free day.

Other than the coffee, today I gave up Facebook. I'm even more addicted to Facebook than I am to coffee. By default, I am also gave up Farmville. Which I am not pleased about. If my grapes wilt due to this book, I will never forgive it. Okay, I'll probably forgive it tomorrow. But only enough to perform tomorrow's duty.

I don't think I have any other addictions. I only drink on the weekends (and I can stop anytime!!!!), I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I'm not even addicted to painkillers.

Once I accidentally clicked on my Facebook button. It's just so conveniently placed, and it's such a habit to click there first when I open up an internet window. It was a scary moment in which I immediately started yelling "shit shit shit!" at my computer and waving my hands in front of the screen until I could think clearly enough to click on the X. It was a minor relapse, the moment passed, and then I felt good about staying away from my addiction once again.

As soon as 12:01 hits, though...