Day Forty something...

Today, the book instructs me to write a proper diary entry of my day. Winston Churchill apparently did this while he was commanding a huge army in a World War. Therefore, I should also be able to do this. Let me tell you, internet following, my life is significantly more busy and stressful than Winston Churchill's.

Not really, but you can let me believe that. Thanks.

Dear Diary,

Today I woke up at least seven times to the horrible sound of my alarm clock going off. It was terrible. Although I should have gotten out of bed at 8:00 a.m., I postponed this treacherous task until 8:33. I took a shower, did my make up (the best make up ever!), put on some clothes, and trudged downstairs to get some caffeine and food into my system. For these things to occur, I had to also wash my bowl and thermos.

I finished getting ready and got into my car to go to school. Some assface who obviously doesn't have anywhere to be at ten o'clock sharp was driving slow, but I got a really good parking spot.

My first class consisted of my insane professor talking about nothing relevant for a half an hour, and then my insane professor trying to figure out how to use the DVD player. I'm not sure how he doesn't know how to work it yet, because we watch movies all the time but somehow this technology is beyond him. I understand that he's old and all but come on! He presses so many god damned buttons you'd think he would figure it out by now.

I spent my time downloading music and trying to play Farmville, but it was running pretty slow. When my professor finally let us out five minutes late, I went to the bus and crushed myself between two boys who find it necessary to spread their legs approximately 180 degrees. One of them had bad breath. I turned up my music so that I couldn't hear the retarded freshmen girls talking and looked the other way.

Luckily it's Friday so I was able to obtain a seat in Baldy Walkway pretty easily, but the douchebag who's in both of my classes today also obtained a seat near me, and I can hear him talking about stupid things and listening to terrible music.

Then I had a delicious chicken salad wrap at a delicious deli. Then I had another class and went to work for 8 hours and 45 very long minutes. There were a lot of Canadians involved but I also had a blue glittery bouncy ball for awhile and then I had a piano thing that makes meow noises but then my manager took them both away and I was le sad.

Then I came home and baked a cake for Matt Lang because his birthday was recently and it was delicious but really dangerous to light and cut while slightly tipsy, which I did. Plus the boys attacked me. Now I am writing some blog! There are people in my house! A couple left! Now I am going!

Hugs and kisses!
Yellenahs

Day Two: The Love of Your Life (Anailuj)

Anailuj has also decided to switch to first person because third person is making her feel a little schizophrenic. I gazed wonderingly at strangers all day.

Sports Fan: Sorry, but I can tell from the way that you've incorporated the logos of three different teams into your outfit today that all you do is watch ESPN. I need some ATTN, too.

Various Mellow-Looking Guys: You know this guy. He's a nice, decent guy. This is the guy you want to marry, but not really date. This is in no way his fault. It is yours because you're masochistic and immature, and like to date the wrong boys. You unfairly want him to just sort of remain available until you're finished running around with Tight Pants Guy.

Tight Pants Guy: TPG, I respect the boldness it must take for a guy to get up in the morning, look in the mirror, and think "Today I want to cram my junk into a tiny denim straitjacket." TPG is actually a genius. He knows that his skinny jeans will serve him dual purposes: 1) To attract ladies who love a man wearing jeans slim enough that they could borrow them, and 2) to kill all his sperm so that he does not impregnate any of those ladies.

Matt: Matt lives down the street from me. Matt has promised to go to the moon, write my name on it large enough for me to see it from Earth, and find me a massive moon diamond. If I actually believed that could happen, I would be carrying Matt's babies right now.

Yellenahs' Housemates: It's important that I talk about them because they're an increasingly important part of my life...
B-Dolla: Great taste in music, which is a Big Deal to me. However, I often find him difficult to locate, which could be problematic.
Aaron: Even though he's a harmless day-walker, he carries the ginger gene. Not willing to take that risk.
John: We would have lots of sarcastic babies with poor eyesight and braces, but they would make up for it by being incredible swimmers. If lucky, they would combine my English skillz and his Math skillz and get perfect SAT scores.

Soul Mate?: I was looking super cute in my red heart-shaped sunglasses. He was wearing large, square, bright orange sunglasses. For a moment we were alone in the airlock of the building as I was exiting and he was entering, and time stood still as our eyes locked and I knew that Orange Sunglasses might be my soul mate. But then time abruptly resumed its pace, and I, unable to react in time, lost Orange Sunglasses forever.

Conclusions: I believe that if Orange Sunglasses really is my soul mate, I'll find him again. I kind of dropped the ball on the "act in consequence" part of this task, but it's ok because I believe we'll be reunited if it's for realzies. Also, I'm a little superficial.