Day Twenty-Five: Things You Will Never Do Before You Die (Anailuj)

Think this is a pretty decent idea, coming to terms with the fact that there are some things you will never do. The human lifetime is pretty limited, and I think if you figure out what you're not going to waste time doing, you can focus on what you are going to do. This was tough for me because I kind of think I can do anything. But it was a big long list, so I only chose the things that were actually difficult for me to come to terms with. Or the things that were weird and I just had to post them. But there were also some things that I will never do anyway, for my own good, like inject heroin or become a world chess champion. So.

Things I Will Never Do:
Climb Evererest (I would love to have that kind of endurance)
Have a sex change, just for a day (what??)
Grow a beard (I like beards)
smoke a cat (again, what???!!)
discover the lost city of Atlantis (I really want Atlantis to be real)
host a game show (I look bad in a suit)
become pope
play the lead in Swan Lake (I am not graceful)
come out of a black hole alive (and not stretched out like spaghetti)
bring back Bambi (John killed Bambi, and his mom, and ate them both)

Things I Have Already Done:
wore colored lenses (unintentionally)
spoke in tongues (I was an imaginitive child)
used a semi-colon (the semi-colon is my favorite punctuation mark)
talked to strangers (it's the greatest thing; you should try it)
got a tattoo
fought the power
been used as a manga character (our friend Julia does cute little anima comics of us and I'm couting them for this)
caused an intergalactic rift (I was involved an a love triagle with two alien warlords who swear to blow up the Earth just as soon as they get out of the Intergalactic High-Security Penitentiary)
wore a cape
oozed charm

Things I Just Might Do Someday:
Learn Russian
Become an artist
Rob a bank (I've already stolen a car, so it's like I'm half way there)
Read Proust
become a rock star
overthrow a regeime, start a revolution (I feel like they would go together)
marry someone I just met (I like spontanaity)
learn pole dancing
exterminate a zombie (I am prepared for when this day comes)
visit space

Things John Has Already Done (Besides kill Bambi and his mom):
Grown a third nipple
shot the last buffalo
become a fitness instructor
licked an electric eel
been eaten by cannibals