Day Twenty-Five: Things You Will Never Do Before You Die (Anailuj)

Think this is a pretty decent idea, coming to terms with the fact that there are some things you will never do. The human lifetime is pretty limited, and I think if you figure out what you're not going to waste time doing, you can focus on what you are going to do. This was tough for me because I kind of think I can do anything. But it was a big long list, so I only chose the things that were actually difficult for me to come to terms with. Or the things that were weird and I just had to post them. But there were also some things that I will never do anyway, for my own good, like inject heroin or become a world chess champion. So.

Things I Will Never Do:
Climb Evererest (I would love to have that kind of endurance)
Have a sex change, just for a day (what??)
Grow a beard (I like beards)
smoke a cat (again, what???!!)
discover the lost city of Atlantis (I really want Atlantis to be real)
host a game show (I look bad in a suit)
become pope
play the lead in Swan Lake (I am not graceful)
come out of a black hole alive (and not stretched out like spaghetti)
bring back Bambi (John killed Bambi, and his mom, and ate them both)

Things I Have Already Done:
wore colored lenses (unintentionally)
spoke in tongues (I was an imaginitive child)
used a semi-colon (the semi-colon is my favorite punctuation mark)
talked to strangers (it's the greatest thing; you should try it)
got a tattoo
fought the power
been used as a manga character (our friend Julia does cute little anima comics of us and I'm couting them for this)
caused an intergalactic rift (I was involved an a love triagle with two alien warlords who swear to blow up the Earth just as soon as they get out of the Intergalactic High-Security Penitentiary)
wore a cape
oozed charm

Things I Just Might Do Someday:
Learn Russian
Become an artist
Rob a bank (I've already stolen a car, so it's like I'm half way there)
Read Proust
become a rock star
overthrow a regeime, start a revolution (I feel like they would go together)
marry someone I just met (I like spontanaity)
learn pole dancing
exterminate a zombie (I am prepared for when this day comes)
visit space

Things John Has Already Done (Besides kill Bambi and his mom):
Grown a third nipple
shot the last buffalo
become a fitness instructor
licked an electric eel
been eaten by cannibals

Day Twenty-five: Things You Will Never Do Before You Die (Yellenahs)

The book gives a long list of random things that many people do/do not do before they die. Many of them are life goals and dreams, and others are really strange things. I've been waiting for this day. I've been dreaming about it and looking forward to it. It took all of my willpower to not fill out this list weeks ago.

There's a bit of reverse psychology involved in this day. By choosing things you will never do before you die, you effectively also have a list of things you probably will do before you die. I think this is pretty cool. I'm a big fan of making lists of life goals.

Some of the things are so strange, however, that I just couldn't bring myself to say I would never do them. I don't want to limit myself!

Here are some things I will never do before I die:

• Climb Everest (I will never be that athletic)
  
• Become World Chess Champion (I probably couldn't beat a 5 year old)
  
• Rob a bank (too risky)
  
• Walk to the North Pole (refer to Everest)
  
• Learn the Periodic Table by heart (fuck Chemistry)
  
• Grow a tail (seems impossible)
  
• Grow a beard (I'm female)
  
• Master the yo-yo (lame)
  
• Sleep with a whore of Babylon (gross)
  
• Become Pope (again, female)

Some things I'm not limiting myself from:

• Travel at warp speed
• Visit Bhutan
• Read Proust
• Watch all of Bergman
• Exterminate a zombie
• Write in cuneiform
• Start my own religion
• Track down Lord Lucan
• Travel back in time
• Invent a typeface

Things I plan to do/probably will do/have done that are on the list:

• Learn Italian
• Kiss a stranger
• Fall for advertising (have you seen the Droid commercial?!)
  
• Wish upon a star
• Get a tattoo
• Proclaim myself empress
• Ride a Harley
• Save the world
• Become grumpy when old
• Experience an earthquake
  

Day Six: Write the Line of Your Novel (Anailuj)

I regretted having to shoot Katie in the face, but once a person has been bitten you have to stop thinking of them as a person, start thinking of them as a zombie, and load up your shot gun.


The first line in an epic tale of love, survival, big guns, and a girl who kills zombies.