Day Twenty-eight: Plan Your Death Row Meal (Yellenahs)

There are so many things I want to eat before I die! I want all of them! I just love food.

For an appetizer I would like taco dip with tortilla chips, and then a salad. A delicious dinner salad, like from the Olive Garden. Probably that one precisely. They have the best salad. Oh and breadsticks. I want Olive Garden salad and breadsitcks. Taco dip is kind of an entirely different region but whatever.

For dinner I would like 1.2 pounds of asparagus because it's my favorite, mashed red potatoes with the skins left on, that really delicious garlic bread that they make at the bakery at the grocery store and put in a silver bag that says "Garlic Bread," and my grandma's macaroni salad. It must be specifically the grocery store garlic bread and grandma's mac salad or IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH. For the protein I would like my mother to make me some fried chicken the special delicious way she does it with special sauce. I love special sauce. Wanna know what's in it? TOO BAD, it's a secret.

For dessert I would like some delicious chocolate, preferably milk but I really like dark, too. I would like one of grandma's cut-out cookies. Tiramisu. Mint chocolate chip ice cream. And maybe something else that I have not yet thought of. I REALLY like dessert. OH pumpkin cheesecake! Yes, that shall be my last dessert. I would like some fruit thrown in there too, because I really like fruit.

Throughout the meal I will be sippin' on apple cider, and I'll probably take a white chocolate mocha with my dessert, thank you.

Commence mission: die happy.

Day Twenty-Eight: Choose Your Final Meal on Death Row

Can you ask for a particular person to cook your final meal? Because I don't want my last food on this Earth (before I'm reincarnated by a marine mammal) to be prepared by some crappy prison chef. I want my mommy to make it! I want my mommy to make me a final meal consiting of a smorgasbord of my favorite childhood meals. Macaroni and cheese, chicken pepperkosh with dumplings, veggie lasagne, butternut squash soup, and stuffed bell peppers.
I also want a salad. But I do not want my mommy to make the salad. I have a thing where I don't really dig on my mom's salads, even though everyone else raves about them. I only like salads from restaurants. It doesn't even really matter which one. I love plain, iceberg lttuce restaurant salads. With ranch or italian dressing. But the best restaurant salad I ever had was from The White Linen Tea House, and it had mandarin oranges, raspberries, and a strawberry vinagrette dressing on it. Delicious.

To drink I want a Dr. Pepper and a water with lemon.
And dessert would be apple crisp from Denny's with vanilla ice cream, and dessert chai, also from White Linen Tea House.

Day Twenty-Two: Agree to Meet Someone in Ten Years (Yellenahs)

Today, the book gave a little agreement to make with someone to meet them in ten years' time. This assignment was approximately as scary as "Introduce Yourself to Someone" day, but I managed to complete it.

For the convenience of not retrieving my book and not committing plagiarism on the interwebz, the contract read something like this:

We, the undersigned, agree to meet at [Mighty Taco, Sheridan] on [10/24/19] at [12:30 a.m.]. In case we have changed beyond recognition, we agree to wear [yellow sunglasses]. In case we have nothing to talk about, here are some current events: [first black president of the U.S., swine flu, terrible economy, global warming]. See you in ten years!

Yes, I realize it's slightly late, being at 12:30 a.m. on the 24th. But I consider this to still be Friday. It's not the next day if I haven't gone to sleep yet. So it's fine.

I handed the note to the cashier in the drive thru at Mighty Taco. John told the poor boy that I am, in fact, crazy. Then the boy shook his head at me as I urged him to keep the paper because that's his copy. He needs to remember! I don't think he was too pleased. As a fellow member of the service industry, I know that I would have been extremely pleased to make such an agreement with a customer. In fact, it would make my whole night. It would break up the monotony of rude person after rude person. So he should have been way happier about that.

Oh well. Not everyone appreciates good fun. I can't wait to see him at midnight-thirty on October the 24th, 2019!

P.S. My 10-year old cousin has swine flu. Those of you who believe in higher powers should pray for her. And for yourselves, because I could carry it from her to you. And you don't want that.

Days Seventeen and Eighteen: Eat Nothing But Asparagus; Kill Something (Anailuj)

I did not eat any asparagus on Sunday. Variety is the spice of like. Without difference there is nothing. We only experience anything because we recognize, sometimes without realizing it, that is it different from other things we experience. Difference is everything. Difference is the motor that keeps the world spinning. Everything in the world manifests itself through its difference from other things; our entire being comes from difference. Yeah, I'm all caught up on my de Saussure and Heidigger, how about you?
My point is that if I experience nothing but asparagus (or any other food for that matter) all day, I will experience nothing. Orally, at least. But I'm also sick which means my nose is stuffed up and there's fluid in my head, so I'm not experiencing things olfactorily or auditorily all that well either.
And I totally agree with Yellenahs that this task could have been better. It should have been a day of fasting if anything. We're so spoiled we don't even realize that getting to eat three meals, or even one meal, a day is a privelege that not everybody shares.

For Kill Something Day, I decided to take the advice of a friend and kill this virus that has invaded my body. You think you're going to lay seige to Anailujinople and turn my Hagia Sophias into little influenza mosques where you'll worship the gods of the cold and flu season? You think you're going to prevent me from screaming at the top of my lungs at the haunted house I have every intention of visiting this weekend? Think again, little flu germs. I'm taking high doses of echinacea and vitamin C and will NOT being seeing a doctor because I've lost faith in modern medicine. You think you're going to go away and just leave me with a sinus infection that I won't be able to shake until Spring? YOU CAN JUST SUCK IT.

See, this is why I don't let us all eat out of the same big pot when I make mac n cheese. Community mac n cheese spreads viral disease!

5 points if you got my seige of Constantinople metaphor. Also, I am deeply sorry for that seige of Constantinople metaphor.