Can you ask for a particular person to cook your final meal? Because I don't want my last food on this Earth (before I'm reincarnated by a marine mammal) to be prepared by some crappy prison chef. I want my mommy to make it! I want my mommy to make me a final meal consiting of a smorgasbord of my favorite childhood meals. Macaroni and cheese, chicken pepperkosh with dumplings, veggie lasagne, butternut squash soup, and stuffed bell peppers.
I also want a salad. But I do not want my mommy to make the salad. I have a thing where I don't really dig on my mom's salads, even though everyone else raves about them. I only like salads from restaurants. It doesn't even really matter which one. I love plain, iceberg lttuce restaurant salads. With ranch or italian dressing. But the best restaurant salad I ever had was from The White Linen Tea House, and it had mandarin oranges, raspberries, and a strawberry vinagrette dressing on it. Delicious.
To drink I want a Dr. Pepper and a water with lemon.
And dessert would be apple crisp from Denny's with vanilla ice cream, and dessert chai, also from White Linen Tea House.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Days Twenty-six and Twenty-seven
Day Twenty-six: Choose What You'd Like to be Reincarnated As
Now, I know that the point of reincarnation is to move up in the cosmic world. You're supposed to be reincarnated as a higher life form so you're closer to Nirvana. Who doesn't want to be close to Nirvana?
What I really want to be reincarnated as is a boy. But only if when I die after being a boy, I get to remember both my lifetime as a girl and as a boy, so that I can compare them and make a fair decision as to which I prefer.
This is not to say that a being male is a higher life form, because it MOST certainly is not. However, I always want to see what it'd be like to be on that side. I love being female, especially because I get to wear pretty make up and get my way because I have awesome boobs. But being a boy seems pretty easy and fun. I always felt that I'd make a pretty good guy. I'd enjoy it, and I think I'd be nice without being the kind of guy who's stuck in "nice guys always finish last." Sometimes, though, I just want to be able to wake up ten minutes before I have to be somewhere and still look fine without wearing make up or putting on pretty clothes. Oh, and my clothes would ALWAYS fit and I wouldn't have to try on 17 pairs of jeans to find some that don't squeeze in all the wrong places and sag in all the others.
If I HAVE to be a higher life form, I would be a cat. Now, I know that a lot of you hate cats, but I happen to love them and I think they're a higher life form. Or maybe a horse! They're so pretty and wonderful. Kitties and horsies! Yay!
Day Twenty-seven: Don't Use the Words "Yes" or "No"
When I woke up in the morning and discovered this rule, I figured it was pretty much impossible. I don't talk that much during the day usually, except for that yesterday I sort of did. But I think I did okay not saying yes or no too much. When I remembered not to, I thought back to some of the most recent things I had said and discovered that I hadn't used them.
Mostly I forgot about it. Except for when I was texting Anailuj, and I used the word "indeed" a lot instead of saying "yeah" or "yes." I like to say indeed better, anyway. It's a good word.
I think it's pretty possible to get through a day without saying those all-powerful words. It's so convenient to have them, but if we didn't I think we would probably still survive as a race.
Now, I know that the point of reincarnation is to move up in the cosmic world. You're supposed to be reincarnated as a higher life form so you're closer to Nirvana. Who doesn't want to be close to Nirvana?
What I really want to be reincarnated as is a boy. But only if when I die after being a boy, I get to remember both my lifetime as a girl and as a boy, so that I can compare them and make a fair decision as to which I prefer.
This is not to say that a being male is a higher life form, because it MOST certainly is not. However, I always want to see what it'd be like to be on that side. I love being female, especially because I get to wear pretty make up and get my way because I have awesome boobs. But being a boy seems pretty easy and fun. I always felt that I'd make a pretty good guy. I'd enjoy it, and I think I'd be nice without being the kind of guy who's stuck in "nice guys always finish last." Sometimes, though, I just want to be able to wake up ten minutes before I have to be somewhere and still look fine without wearing make up or putting on pretty clothes. Oh, and my clothes would ALWAYS fit and I wouldn't have to try on 17 pairs of jeans to find some that don't squeeze in all the wrong places and sag in all the others.
If I HAVE to be a higher life form, I would be a cat. Now, I know that a lot of you hate cats, but I happen to love them and I think they're a higher life form. Or maybe a horse! They're so pretty and wonderful. Kitties and horsies! Yay!
Day Twenty-seven: Don't Use the Words "Yes" or "No"
When I woke up in the morning and discovered this rule, I figured it was pretty much impossible. I don't talk that much during the day usually, except for that yesterday I sort of did. But I think I did okay not saying yes or no too much. When I remembered not to, I thought back to some of the most recent things I had said and discovered that I hadn't used them.
Mostly I forgot about it. Except for when I was texting Anailuj, and I used the word "indeed" a lot instead of saying "yeah" or "yes." I like to say indeed better, anyway. It's a good word.
I think it's pretty possible to get through a day without saying those all-powerful words. It's so convenient to have them, but if we didn't I think we would probably still survive as a race.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Day Twenty-Seven: Don't Use the Words "Yes" or "No" (Anailuj)
I thought this would be easy because I do so little talking during my school day, but the words yes and no, and their derivatives, "nah" and "yeah" just come so naturally it was impossible to keep them from leaving my mouth.
Especially when I got to work where I'm constantly telling the kids "No, don't hit him," "No, get off of that," "No, don't eat that," "No, don't scream," or "No, don't jump on me."
It was fun thinking of alternatives for those two words, but I usually forgot to use them. Here's the one's I came up with:
NO:
negatory
nu-uh
nope
never
I should think not!
YES:
certainly
indubitably
without a doubt
concur
oui
preciscely
indeed
ja
Especially when I got to work where I'm constantly telling the kids "No, don't hit him," "No, get off of that," "No, don't eat that," "No, don't scream," or "No, don't jump on me."
It was fun thinking of alternatives for those two words, but I usually forgot to use them. Here's the one's I came up with:
NO:
negatory
nu-uh
nope
never
I should think not!
YES:
certainly
indubitably
without a doubt
concur
oui
preciscely
indeed
ja
Day Twenty-Six: Choose What You'd Prefer to Be Reincarnated As (Anailuj)
I would definitely want to be reincarnated as a Humpback whale. Or dolphin. I'm a swimmer, and no one knows better than a swimmer that humans are just not made for the water. We're clumsy and bulky and we don't belong there. But animals like these ones swim more gracefully and with less effort than we walk on land. We evolved to be bipedal land animals, but they don't seem to have evolved to fit into any role, they seem like they were always the way they are, and their environment fits into them, not the other way around.
Whales are the biggest creatures on this Earth since the dinosaurs. But you don't see them rushing anywhere like a giant angry tank, or tearing into anything with big nasty claws and teeth. They just are. they swim around and sift through the water for krill and take care of their families. They travel together and sleep together. The whale's motto is Live and Let Be. Nothing bothers the whale. It's so immersed in serenity and what I'm pretty sure is all-knowingness, all of our stupid human troubles are just a blip on the cosmic map of the whale's world.
And have you ever seen dolphins play? They were made for play. It's their job. They don't know what work is, or hate. Even things that are necessary for them to stay alive, like catching fish, are just games to them.
Anyway, that's all assuming that by the time it's my turn to be reincarnated we haven't managed to wipe out all the dolphns and whales. And it's assuming I deserve to be reincarnated as a dolphin or whale. The whole logic behind the belief of reincarnation is that if you do well in this life, you chock up lots of good karma by fulfilling all your dharmic obligations, you come back as a higher life-form. But if you're crappy to other people and you never try to better yourself, you come back as a lower life-form, like a a snail, or a bacterium, or Shirley Phelps.
So here's hoping I do well enough to get to be a whale in my next life. Because I'm pretty sure whales get a lot closer to Nirvana, or the Atman, or Heaven, or becoming a Bodhisatva (or whatever you want to call the final state of peace for the mind, body, and soul) in their wise and wonderful pondering of the infinite nature of the universe than any human ever did.
Whales are the biggest creatures on this Earth since the dinosaurs. But you don't see them rushing anywhere like a giant angry tank, or tearing into anything with big nasty claws and teeth. They just are. they swim around and sift through the water for krill and take care of their families. They travel together and sleep together. The whale's motto is Live and Let Be. Nothing bothers the whale. It's so immersed in serenity and what I'm pretty sure is all-knowingness, all of our stupid human troubles are just a blip on the cosmic map of the whale's world.
And have you ever seen dolphins play? They were made for play. It's their job. They don't know what work is, or hate. Even things that are necessary for them to stay alive, like catching fish, are just games to them.
Anyway, that's all assuming that by the time it's my turn to be reincarnated we haven't managed to wipe out all the dolphns and whales. And it's assuming I deserve to be reincarnated as a dolphin or whale. The whole logic behind the belief of reincarnation is that if you do well in this life, you chock up lots of good karma by fulfilling all your dharmic obligations, you come back as a higher life-form. But if you're crappy to other people and you never try to better yourself, you come back as a lower life-form, like a a snail, or a bacterium, or Shirley Phelps.
So here's hoping I do well enough to get to be a whale in my next life. Because I'm pretty sure whales get a lot closer to Nirvana, or the Atman, or Heaven, or becoming a Bodhisatva (or whatever you want to call the final state of peace for the mind, body, and soul) in their wise and wonderful pondering of the infinite nature of the universe than any human ever did.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Day Twenty-Five: Things You Will Never Do Before You Die (Anailuj)
Think this is a pretty decent idea, coming to terms with the fact that there are some things you will never do. The human lifetime is pretty limited, and I think if you figure out what you're not going to waste time doing, you can focus on what you are going to do. This was tough for me because I kind of think I can do anything. But it was a big long list, so I only chose the things that were actually difficult for me to come to terms with. Or the things that were weird and I just had to post them. But there were also some things that I will never do anyway, for my own good, like inject heroin or become a world chess champion. So.
Things I Will Never Do:
Climb Evererest (I would love to have that kind of endurance)
Have a sex change, just for a day (what??)
Grow a beard (I like beards)
smoke a cat (again, what???!!)
discover the lost city of Atlantis (I really want Atlantis to be real)
host a game show (I look bad in a suit)
become pope
play the lead in Swan Lake (I am not graceful)
come out of a black hole alive (and not stretched out like spaghetti)
bring back Bambi (John killed Bambi, and his mom, and ate them both)
Things I Have Already Done:
wore colored lenses (unintentionally)
spoke in tongues (I was an imaginitive child)
used a semi-colon (the semi-colon is my favorite punctuation mark)
talked to strangers (it's the greatest thing; you should try it)
got a tattoo
fought the power
been used as a manga character (our friend Julia does cute little anima comics of us and I'm couting them for this)
caused an intergalactic rift (I was involved an a love triagle with two alien warlords who swear to blow up the Earth just as soon as they get out of the Intergalactic High-Security Penitentiary)
wore a cape
oozed charm
Things I Just Might Do Someday:
Learn Russian
Become an artist
Rob a bank (I've already stolen a car, so it's like I'm half way there)
Read Proust
become a rock star
overthrow a regeime, start a revolution (I feel like they would go together)
marry someone I just met (I like spontanaity)
learn pole dancing
exterminate a zombie (I am prepared for when this day comes)
visit space
Things John Has Already Done (Besides kill Bambi and his mom):
Grown a third nipple
shot the last buffalo
become a fitness instructor
licked an electric eel
been eaten by cannibals
Things I Will Never Do:
Climb Evererest (I would love to have that kind of endurance)
Have a sex change, just for a day (what??)
Grow a beard (I like beards)
smoke a cat (again, what???!!)
discover the lost city of Atlantis (I really want Atlantis to be real)
host a game show (I look bad in a suit)
become pope
play the lead in Swan Lake (I am not graceful)
come out of a black hole alive (and not stretched out like spaghetti)
bring back Bambi (John killed Bambi, and his mom, and ate them both)
Things I Have Already Done:
wore colored lenses (unintentionally)
spoke in tongues (I was an imaginitive child)
used a semi-colon (the semi-colon is my favorite punctuation mark)
talked to strangers (it's the greatest thing; you should try it)
got a tattoo
fought the power
been used as a manga character (our friend Julia does cute little anima comics of us and I'm couting them for this)
caused an intergalactic rift (I was involved an a love triagle with two alien warlords who swear to blow up the Earth just as soon as they get out of the Intergalactic High-Security Penitentiary)
wore a cape
oozed charm
Things I Just Might Do Someday:
Learn Russian
Become an artist
Rob a bank (I've already stolen a car, so it's like I'm half way there)
Read Proust
become a rock star
overthrow a regeime, start a revolution (I feel like they would go together)
marry someone I just met (I like spontanaity)
learn pole dancing
exterminate a zombie (I am prepared for when this day comes)
visit space
Things John Has Already Done (Besides kill Bambi and his mom):
Grown a third nipple
shot the last buffalo
become a fitness instructor
licked an electric eel
been eaten by cannibals
Days Twenty-Two Through Twenty-Four (Anailuj)
Hi, I'm a slacker who hasn't updated in a week. I know that wehn I don't blog, time stands still for you, and for that I apologize.
Day Twenty-Two: Meet Someone in Ten Years
I have sort of a cute and sentimental idea for this that I haven't yet exectuted. I'll let you know when I do.
Day Twenty-Three: Plastic Fantastic!
There' a couple areas in which I think this book errs, and this is one of them. I don't need anybody to tell me I'm not good enough. Especially that creep Yellenahs found. I also don't need anybody groping on me or writing on me with a marker to show me what needs to be bigger, what needs to be smaller, what needs to go up, and what needs to go down. Not that i have any kind of thing against people who do need plastic surgery. I think it's a financial drain, but if it makes you happy, go for it.
But mostly I have an issue with being groped by a stranger.
Day Twenty-Four: Barter Day
Today My brother and I bartered over me finishing his essay for him. He offered to clean my room, but I don't want my room to be clean (how would I ever find anything?!). Then he offered to make me a sandwich, which was sort of appealing, but I couldn't let him know that. A good barterer always drives up the price. I offered to edit it for him but he said it was all or nthing. He too, drives a hard bargain.
Anyway, I eventually got distracted by something and he finished his essay by himself like and honest and hard-working student.
Day Twenty-Two: Meet Someone in Ten Years
I have sort of a cute and sentimental idea for this that I haven't yet exectuted. I'll let you know when I do.
Day Twenty-Three: Plastic Fantastic!
There' a couple areas in which I think this book errs, and this is one of them. I don't need anybody to tell me I'm not good enough. Especially that creep Yellenahs found. I also don't need anybody groping on me or writing on me with a marker to show me what needs to be bigger, what needs to be smaller, what needs to go up, and what needs to go down. Not that i have any kind of thing against people who do need plastic surgery. I think it's a financial drain, but if it makes you happy, go for it.
But mostly I have an issue with being groped by a stranger.
Day Twenty-Four: Barter Day
Today My brother and I bartered over me finishing his essay for him. He offered to clean my room, but I don't want my room to be clean (how would I ever find anything?!). Then he offered to make me a sandwich, which was sort of appealing, but I couldn't let him know that. A good barterer always drives up the price. I offered to edit it for him but he said it was all or nthing. He too, drives a hard bargain.
Anyway, I eventually got distracted by something and he finished his essay by himself like and honest and hard-working student.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Day Twenty-five: Things You Will Never Do Before You Die (Yellenahs)
The book gives a long list of random things that many people do/do not do before they die. Many of them are life goals and dreams, and others are really strange things. I've been waiting for this day. I've been dreaming about it and looking forward to it. It took all of my willpower to not fill out this list weeks ago.
There's a bit of reverse psychology involved in this day. By choosing things you will never do before you die, you effectively also have a list of things you probably will do before you die. I think this is pretty cool. I'm a big fan of making lists of life goals.
Some of the things are so strange, however, that I just couldn't bring myself to say I would never do them. I don't want to limit myself!
Here are some things I will never do before I die:
There's a bit of reverse psychology involved in this day. By choosing things you will never do before you die, you effectively also have a list of things you probably will do before you die. I think this is pretty cool. I'm a big fan of making lists of life goals.
Some of the things are so strange, however, that I just couldn't bring myself to say I would never do them. I don't want to limit myself!
Here are some things I will never do before I die:
- Climb Everest (I will never be that athletic)
- Become World Chess Champion (I probably couldn't beat a 5 year old)
- Rob a bank (too risky)
- Walk to the North Pole (refer to Everest)
- Learn the Periodic Table by heart (fuck Chemistry)
- Grow a tail (seems impossible)
- Grow a beard (I'm female)
- Master the yo-yo (lame)
- Sleep with a whore of Babylon (gross)
- Become Pope (again, female)
- Travel at warp speed
- Visit Bhutan
- Read Proust
- Watch all of Bergman
- Exterminate a zombie
- Write in cuneiform
- Start my own religion
- Track down Lord Lucan
- Travel back in time
- Invent a typeface
- Learn Italian
- Kiss a stranger
- Fall for advertising (have you seen the Droid commercial?!)
- Wish upon a star
- Get a tattoo
- Proclaim myself empress
- Ride a Harley
- Save the world
- Become grumpy when old
- Experience an earthquake
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